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:icondelliversagain: More from delliversagain

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Submitted on
June 18, 2003
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1 (who?)

April 30th, just another day in my life,
Your heart beats faster with each breath,
Though I suspect this is because you\'re
poisoned by some crazy red, curved heart
on the pavement that says \"i love you\"

Yeah, I feel that way for you but that
doesn\'t mean you have to really act like
you appreciate it and the 12 roses I left
you by your apartment doorsteps each step
how deep they felt as I left my heart
next to the news of the world and a dead
mosquito with a blue and great abdomen with
red eyes (if you looked closely) still staring.

Now it\'s my turn to be lose my feelings in
a pond of algae and some unpredictable whirlpool of
emotions that you possess and throw about the
world with the dictatorship of an unstable
government. Red is the color of love and blood.

Red is the color of love and blood is no coincidence
I think. Late april showers are not likely to fall from
the sky and wash away the tears that will not roll down
your cheek and as my tears evaporated many years ago
in a broken hearted drought that never really ended
after discovering the intracacies of responsibility and
other useless discoveries that plague this ten stone sadness
and gravity of years that enslave me like a mountain blocking the sun
on my back to be placed on some tyrannical castle of someone
else\'s selfish and well-controlled desires. Between each
step at least life doesn\'t have much emphasis and in those
milliseconds lies a greater love that probably has more
charimatic entropy than the dead roses that\'ll be in the trash
in three days, browner than they were red; forgotten
more than they will ever be remembered.
I guess this is a romantic one. urgh..I misspelled "charismatic"...sorry.

And, I consulted my experts (basically: vespera) and, this is actually an emotional poem..

Did any of you catch my "Jeremy" reference with the red heart on the sidewalk part? could create the debate that the red heart on the sidewalk created itself from the spew created by the trigger of a shotgun pointed at the head in front of that lovely girl's apartment.

But, no...maybe that's not what it meant, but if you wanna turn this into a "goth poem"'re more than welcome to interpret it that way.

I won't be offended whatsoever.
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Entropy: the tendency of systems to be absorbed into chaos.
Poetry: the tendency of entropy to stick in the memory.
i babbled myself into a poem idea there, i hope nobody steals it before i can use it.
I absolutely love the voice captured here, the tone. It seems gifted. It seems to be almost an ode to the way love passes by sometimes, the way it hangs at a red light intersection but then starts to roll forward in anticipation of a new green light. Sometimes.

I kind of wish your last stanza didn't roll away like that. The poem seems to bulge at the seems. If love was like those cars at the intersection, i'd say those cars run on thousands of controlled explosions. Love is like that, thousands of controlled explosions.
It won't let me favorite. I don't know why. I'll try again later.
I would agree with Vespera that this is far more emotional than romantic. In a way it is the antithesis of romantic in that it paints an ugly picture of the temporary nature of romance and the infinite nature of sadness and longing that it leaves behind. This is my first favorite poem, even though I feel sad when I read it. It hits a nerve so to speak. Do you think that it's not true love that hurts us so badly, but really intense desire or misattributed attractions? I'm not sure, but I hope it's the latter.
doxa9k Jun 19, 2003
ill +fav this when you have a nicer screen shot - i dont want to make my page all gross and messy... someone may trip and fall!! rofl

=p (Razz) l8r g8r,
doxa9k Jun 19, 2003
"Between each
step at least life doesn't have much emphasis and in those
milliseconds lies a greater love that probably has more
charimatic entropy than the dead roses that'll be in the trash
in three days"

...remember these words during the milliconds that pass between each step when you have one foot in free from the earth my friend :) (Smile)

oh yeah, and you need to do something about that screenshot there mr. sloppy Laughing - hmm, it has been a while, maybe ill do something nice for ya ;) (Wink)
vespera Jun 18, 2003  Hobbyist Writer
Hmmm perhaps more emotional than romantic...
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